Of Naivety and Trust

At times I wondered if I am plain naive or plain ignorant of people's good and bad behaviours. I am not a moral police. So I have no say if someone is doing a good or bad thing. Unless they are doing something definitely wrong in my eyes such as stealing or violence. Why am I writing this? This semester something went wrong with my friendships. Am I too stupid that I went and tell the truth? Can't I tell a lie now and then? But then again I don't want my life to be surrounded with lies. Technically what happened was between A and H. they gave each other a bad first impression. Somehow the bad impression has lead H to bad mouth about A. A found out through me when she asked me about it. I couldn't explain why was it that I didn't stand up for A despite my friendship with her. I really couldn't say anything to defend her because there were too many things that I did not know about her. Once A know of this, she repeatedly told me that H is not a good person because she bad-mouthed about her. What am I to do when H has been true to me since the beginning of our frienship? Yes, bad-mouthing someone is a bad thing to do. Was it because I understand a girl's nature to gossip about someone due to jealousy? I myself am guilty of some mistakes I made when I was feeling twinge of jealousy. After all, this wouldn't happen if A did not meet R on that night. Perhaps I am too understanding that I became very accepting of people's flaws. How does this issue relates to trust? Well, as A said because H has done something bad to her, thus I shouldn't trust H. But truthfully, I trust the both of them. This is how I made friends. I gave all my friends 100% trust when I know them. But if they ever betrayed me, they will lost the trust completely. When I was feeling betrayed by SP, I couldn't trust her again but after so long, I have forgiven her for I think what she did is what an average girl who is in love will do. Trust is something like a gut feeling. With some people, you might feel like you couldn't trust them. One example would be that LKK guy. He gave me an uneasy feeling from the start of the friendship that I couldn't really trust him. That is why I couldn't accept him as a boyfriend. After all I want to be in a relationship where I can trust him. KKS said that he trusts me a lot and that he is glad he can talk to me without thinking whether it is 'politically correct or not'. This of course made me felt really pleased. =D Sometimes, perhaps I am really naive. My last experience with NLC made me wonder if I have been used. Why do I think so? I trusted the colleagues I have on the team. But I hear different things from two of them, AY and S. Both don't like the way each was performing their duties. Somehow the two of them should really sit down and talk. AY said normally people would hate her after working with her. However, I don't feel so. I don't mind working with her again because i think her attitude to work made things happen. At the end of this, I believe my way of making friends is the right way for me. It doesn't matter to me that people think that I am naive. I just believe in my intuitions and my mind. Even though A believes that I am easily influenced, I believe that I have my own mindset or opinions on matters but I am still a rational being who will listen to reasons because there is no point in being stubborn in issues that is ever changing. Like when I did my research on prostitution back in college. I was stubbornly saying that men caused women to prostitute themselves but at the end of the research, I realise women themselves also play a role. There are women in world cultures who think that when a women is raped, she is a 'bad' woman and therefore is ok for other men to have sex with her. This caused a woman grown under these mindsets to think there is only one way to live her life. Or should I remind myself the time I said all men are evil beings? Haha ... yep now I accept that evilness can exist in both genders. It is the personalities of each individuals that make them do the right or wrong things.