Violation

Do you think that a person have to be raped to feel how another person feel to have been violated? I think not because some people can feel empathy to someone's else situation. In other words, in some situation, a person can truly put himself or herself in that other person's shoes. Why a sudden mention of this, you might ask. Well, very recently, one of my gal friends told me that she was molested during the last summer break when she was back in her own country. Being a women's rights activist, my immediate reaction was to advise her to bring that violater to court and put him to jail! Now imagine my surprise when she gave me 3 reasons why she won't be doing so ... First, she would embarassed her family for being molested ... Secondly, the violater was just released from jail and she don't want to put him back in.... Thirdly, there was no witness to her situation. Now my rationale is like this. I think in this world, parents would have 2 reactions when told that their precious daughter is molested. They would either believe her and make sure she get justice for the crime committed to her OR they would said it's bull shit and she probably brought it on to herself which equals to bringing shame to the family if she reports it. I think she believes that her parents would have the second reaction but I believe her parents would have the first reaction because her parents are really protective and loves her a lot. The second reason she gave me is something I cannot comprehend. How can you sympathise with a someone who just violated your own self??? I have no idea what previous crimes he committed to cause the jail term but if it was also molestation or related, then she definitely would have won the case! Remember how one year PAS make a statement that under the hudud law, one needs to have 4 malay men as witnesses if she wants to report a rape case? Now, we know there would be no witness to such crimes because if there was someone else, the crime would have been stopped or might become worse. So frankly I don't understand her way of thinking. Perhaps some of you out there might tell me that I don't understand because I have never been violated sexually in my life. I would say that is not the case. There is a mind block in my childhood that something happened to me where my parents were not aware of but I no longer remember it no matter how much I dwell on it. Another thing is that have I been molested or raped, no matter how traumatic I am, I will bring that violater to court and send him away to jail. Of course, sending him to jail wouldn't reduce the damages done but at least I have fight to have my right back. And someone do not asked for themselves to be violated. Remember that, girls, no matter how many people tell you that they think one's actions or way of dressing is a form of invitation to these violations.