Soulmates

I have just finished watching this Korean drama titled "Soulmate". The concept of soulmate was constantly on my head when I had my first love. Maybe I should said my first love when I was still a child. It could have been an influence from reading too much L. J. Smith's Nightworld series. I have always thought of my first love as my soulmate. It came from that dream or maybe it was a nightmare. After all, having a bomb dropped on you is not a pleasant thing to encounter. From then on, it was those moments when I would "feel" his presence. There are times I wondered how things would have changed if only at only 10 of age, I have answered that I liked him when he asked who I liked. Perhaps we wouldn't be so much of a stranger to each other now.

I think from the moment that we said that we can never be together as a couple was the moment when I am in this weird phase. The phase where I want love and yet I pushed love away. Because I have attached the tag soulmate to him, that moment caused me to think that I have lost my soulmate in this life already.

Watching movies on the theme of soulmate always make me uncomfortable. I would remember things I thought had long disappeared from my memory. I would remember the disapproval from someone close. Sounds all so sad, isn't it? There are happy memories too. As we were young, we played many family games. I remembered that night under the stars. I will always remember that, no matter where I go and who I am with.

Whether I have lost my soulmate or not, I hope to find that person again and meet happiness instead of heartbreak ...